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03 February 2009 @ 05:50 pm
lordy lordy!
guess who's turning forty forty?

sean i hate you and all of your limited awesomness
and jeremy for showing me that

12 December 2008 @ 01:29 am
i barely understand anything they're saying. but i love it. these two groups are soo adorable! i wish i was cute and asian! i can sing like this... cute is a possibility,  but the asian thing will be hard to duplicate. apparently people have a huge VERSUS thing between these two groups, but i think they're both super duper adorable and lovely!

--- a.
12 December 2008 @ 12:13 am
 for me, i have a sleeping scheduale. i sleep every other night. i know this is probably terrible for me. but i dont seem to need that much sleep. the longest ive gone without sleep is four day, but by that fourth night i was hallucinating, on the car ride home from a theater performance i saw cats waltzing in and out of the fog.... on two legs. one night of sleep seems to be enough to energize me for two days. so the calculations would be:

 6-8 hrs. of sleep = 36 hrs. of wakefullness

 i usually get nothing done in the nights that i dont sleep. tonight is one of those nights. i mean, i get stuff done. just not stuff i should be getting done. like homework and projects and overdue homework and projects. i may be terrified of the dark (and night in general, the fact that i have an overactive imagination doesn't help). i mostly draw and listen to music. my brain is on some sort of a 'staying up late' high that lasts through the night and starts to die in the later morning. i get inspired easily and ideas seem to flow nonstop. ive learned to carry a notepad and pen around with me so i can write my spontaneous ideas down.

 i seem to be able to concentrate on art more, i save the more tedious parts, the parts that are essential. boring parts like coloring hair if its supposed to be solid black. i try to avoid solid black things because they take a while to color and its more fun to stiple or shade or draw cute patterns on the clothes. detailing is my favorite part!

 on a side note for drawing: its harder for me lately, to draw at school. usually im more like whatever. but if im drawing something wierd or random or -coughcough- inappropriate, then i get all shy and embarrassed. which is annoying, because i want to draw. but maybe if people stopped hanging over my shoulder and gushing about my drawing skills then i wouldn't feel so self-concious. i dont care if people already know i draw and just watch quietly or make the occasional commment, kudos to the rare critical comment i get, those are really really awesome and helpful. im trying new things and drawing more personal things instead of just random imagination diareah. whatever. i will try and not care anymore. its just harder in class because the teacher will either tell you to put it away (if i can do it fast enough, then i can usually get it out of sight before anyone can get a good look or 'gush'), or they'll scare the hell out of you by walking over and standing right behind you and watching like a vulture, or (the worst one) where they are talking, have everyones attention and make a comment about it and everyones attention goes to you and they walk over and gush and paw through your drawings and GUSHING ERGHHH. yeah. one of the reasons i dont draw at school.

 i wish this journal layout showed CAPSLOCK.

 --- a.
ps. more people know about this blog now, or at least more will soon, i know for sure that 3 people have been told by me about it. so ill have to be a little more careful as far as what i really think of people, but only in some cases. because most of the time im not afraid to say what i think. im so bluntly honest sometimes that it gets me into trouble.

 'how does this look?'
 '...uh... do you want the truth or a white lie?'

 so tactless. tsk tsk tsk.

11 December 2008 @ 11:53 pm
 i cut my hair after school today! i was trying to put it back and out of my face and i KER-SNAPPED. i just chopped off my ponytail. ive been TRYING to grow it out, really. there is a girl whose name starts with ashley at my school who has beautiful hair that i really want. its blond, length is just right and curly. but reflecting, if i had her hair, it would probably not fit my face as well as i thought. i have a heart shaped face, which goes ok with pretty much anything, but my eyes are really set off when i have boy short, feathery hair.

 so my hair is about an inch long. i tried to make it nice and layered and i did a good job. not sure about the back. but sakura can help me tomorrow. my cowardly lion, jeremy, needs another haircut. i cut his hair about a month ago but it grows like a weed! its gonna get dutch boy styled if i dont hop to it. so im going to cut it at school for him again. haha. thats a lot of fun because i get to boss him around.

 "Chin up. Shake. Tilt to the right a bit."

 I just move his head around like he's a doll. and because im so floopin short, he has to stoop. and even then i have to stand on my tippy toes. its like doing ballet with scissors... which is now something i would pay to see. along with 'riddle-de-dee: a voldemort musical.' i made a friend on myspace accidently! her name is dianna, she is nice. i add people because i like their pictures or the way they do their profiles but i am seldom brave enough to talk. but i thought what they hey, if they dont like me or dont want to talk then thats fine by me. some people are wierded out by strangers randomly talking to them. but im not... unless its a pedophile or internet predator or something. i am safe on the internet. yaya me.


 my dad is the best dad ever and i hope he is having a good time in colorado. i love him for forever. i hope he loves me for forever. -feels happy inside- and now my computer is like a virus warrior. i had to delete some stuff, but it was time for cleaning anyways so... yeah. haha. the defeating of the virus was epic. a tale for all ages! there were tears from me, because ive already lost a computer to a hardrive eating virus. now that computer is a useless hunk of metal. i want to take it apart and use the chips to decorate/make stuff, but ill ask my dad and make sure that ding dong witch is dead! heehee.


 --- a.

 I slept last night, which means ill be up all night tonight
05 December 2008 @ 05:31 pm
 What? Porn? On MY COMPUTER?

 I'm not talking about the pictures off deviantart of NAKED PEOPLE that I use as drawing/sketching references. NO. I'm talking about actual porn. Pictures of people in sexual situations. I'm not talking about your average porn. I'm talking 'bout gay porn. And while I'm furiously deleting them all and am somewhat thankful for that fact that mom isn't home. No, it's not what your thinking.


 Apparently I have no firewall, I'm surprised I haven't gotten anything before now, seeing as my norton anti-virus expired at least three months ago. This little bastard of a virus has been annoying the heck out of me. At first it was little, just the occasional pop-up and then it exploded into a horrible computer virus. I saw the blue screen of death, I looked at the blue screen of death and it looked into me. And saw that I had previous experiance with a computer destroying virus.

I guess previous experiance doesn't really help, seeing as that last virus completely destroyed my last laptop. Leaving it as a smoldering heap of useless metal. NOT THIS TIME. This time the virus is a little different. It puts up shortcuts that don't go anywhere on your desktop, leaving wonderful porno presents in your pictures and screwing up your internet connection, attempting to steal your credit card and identity. Good thing I don't use my real name on the internet, and a good thing that I don't have a credit card. But this used to be my Dad's buisness computer, so I automatically started deleting all the junk I procrastinated on deleting. Deleted all my personal files. Went on a winter cleaning file spree. BUT TO NO AVAIL.

 I'm scanning my computer for the second time now, but one little bugger escapes me, the 'Rapid AntiVirus' is a real SOB. It says it's a friend, but I know what it really is. A virus masquerading as a virus blocker. How ironic. But the fight will be loquacious to a fault. I will win... hopefully.

 Sorry for not posting. I'll try now, I just haven't really had time to post. And now, on with the life.

 Over the crush on one of my best friends. (Don't worry, Jeremy, it wasn't you.) But I have come to a theory that I'm going to post in an entirely different post. Because this one is already long and my theory is longer. I'm still not sure about it yet. But I think it's safer.

 Dad is coming home tonight. I'm excited, and I know that I'm going to cry. For sure. Because I'm easily emotional, I always cry during fights (which is annoying when I'm REALLY angry because I'm thinking 'WTF? I can't yell and blubber incoherently at the same time!' Which is why I prefer writing notes/letters to the person I'm upset with.) I've decided to make a sign that says my dad's name and then our family name under it in chinese, kinda like we don't know him, like we're hired drivers or something. I dunno. He laughed when I mentioned it on the phone. I know I'll cry when he see's how much I've improved drawing wise. (My eyes are threatening to over flow while I watch this, which is annoying because the salt will burn on my skin and I'll have to go wash/lotion my face. Damn ecxema.)

 My Dad is a big inspiration to me artistically-wise. He's always been a big art fanatic, not art in the classical sense, he's more into the whole new age thing. More importantly, comic books and graphic novels. (He's yet to be exposed to manga, I'll change all of that this christmas.) I started getting 'good' in a sense in about the beginning of seventh grade. Before, I just wanted to draw so badly, mostly because I wanted to see what was in my head on paper. I got into writing earlier on, in about fourth grade I started writing stories and fanfiction (but didn't know it was called fanfiction because I had yet to discover the internet.) Which later got me started on keeping a diary and then blogging as well.

 Anyways, in seventh grade I really got into Manga, which got me into Graphic Novels and then evolved into comic books. I got more exposed to different kinds of art and artistic styles and stuff in these past four years than in my whole life. Really got into superhero's when I was younger but it kind of faded, and then came back. With a vengeance. I practice drawing superhero's sometimes but I'm trying more classical stuff, like learning all about anatomy and perspective before I jump in over my head. He always praises me, no matter how screwed up the hands are or how impossible the stature/build of a character. Lately I've been working harder to combine writing and drawing, and he's helped me a lot with that. Helped me with ideas and such. Now, I've been better about coming up with plot, often times I'll write myself into a corner or just make random character designs. I'll spend a day or even weeks fixated about a steampunk-esque world where there's a boy genius and all these secondary characters I incorporate in, but I'll never write it out or come up with an actual plot/story to it. Or I'll draw a detective with a funny mustache who has no story but a name, age, aliases and all sorts of crazy bio info before I even consider turning it into a story. I remember once I drew a cute little demon girl after watching my dad play Kingdom Hearts when Sora was in halloween town. He said "What's her name?" when I replied that I didn't have one, he told me to give her one. And soon enough, the name spiraled into all sorts of other things. Her name should be Marionette, it's pretty sounding but creepy too and she should be nice, while all the other monsters are out scaring, she should be baking cookies...

 Often when I come up with an idea/plot/story character I need to talk. I always talk to myself while drawing, critiquing my work, telling myself what's next, exploring character options. Always talking to myself, now more that I'm more comfortable with it and something people in my family are used to. (I'm nearly impossible to watch a movie with.) Now I talk to a dad when he calls or I call, I'll go sit on the floor and ramble away to Mom while she's playing solitare or reading articles. 

 I'm just so glad he's home. But... now that I think about the location of my room. I don't think tonight will be pleasant sound-wise. But I'll ask my dad to help me with computer issue, and being the Captain Awesome that he is, it'll probably be gone in an hour or two. I want to have lots of fun and get stuff done and junk this weekend, so I'm going on a super homework binge tonight. I'm going to get as much done as I possibly can and plan towards Sakura-con.

 My mom really doesn't think it'll be possible for me to stay with a friend for a few weeks until Sakura-con and then fly to Denver, Colorado to join my family once again in what will no doubt be a teary and emotionally traumatic ordeal. I DONT KNOW. I think my plan will succeed, because along with a plan 'A', I now have a 'B' and 'C' back up plan.

 I should go get ready to go to the airport. We're going to Cosco beforehand so, that'll easily turn into an ADVENTURE. Maybe I can find a economy thing of polaroid film. That would be nice. I'll probably make like, four more posts after this because some topics are so important that they need their own post. Like a celebrity... or something.

 --- a.

18 November 2008 @ 07:46 pm
list of possible career choices

. kidnapper
. disney princess
. circus performer
. bank robber
. hobo
. comic book artist
. freelance artist

--- a.
12 November 2008 @ 01:43 am
i think i might be in love with my best friend.


that and i can only breathe through one nostril.

--- a.
11 November 2008 @ 06:01 pm
I was sick all last week with the stomach flu and it's made itself apparent that I've caught something else as well. My lymph nodes are swollen, my throat hurts and my nose has turned into a faucet.


I missed a lot of school last week and thus, have lots of stuff to make up, but I'm feeling a little bit better. So hopefully I'll be completely cured by tomorrow. I have no idea who I caught this from, there are so many people still going to school who are sick (including me).

Dress rehearsal for 'The Witches' is tomorrow. Fun fun fun. Then our first performance is on friday night I think. Tomorrow is stage make-up and maybe costumes as well, depending on if they've arrived yet. They might get here friday. Should be lots of fun. I'm looking forward to the children's matinee's. It's so lovely when their faces light up when the curtains open. I remember going to my first play in first grade, my elementary school walked to the highschool and saw Monticello's (or was it Mark Morris's?) rendition of Peter Pan. And that's when I decided I wanted to act.

Rehearsals have been tiring and sometimes boring, but it'll be worth it when we start the shows.

--- a.
Current Music: Atmadja :: Quidam
11 November 2008 @ 05:54 pm
There is no school today. So yesterday after rehearsals, Sakura came over and spent the night. We watched 'Road to El Dorado', 'Aladdin and the Cave of Cheeseburgers' and 'Demyx Time 9'. We went to bed early (around 10ish), so that we could be energized in order to go to Jeremy's house.


Cause it rained. The weather was cloudy and it sprinkled off and on and we didn't want to bike there and back just because. Soooo we ate pancakes and went back to sleep. We slept till about three and then Sakura went home. Lots of fun though. I'm glad I only have three more days of school until the weekend. This extra resting day made things a lot easier.

--- a.
09 November 2008 @ 02:02 am
I need peeps. Right this instant. I want some really bad.

--- a.
Current Music: Ballant :: Nouvelle Experiance